


Feeling the Rainbow

by noyanishi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blind Character, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, iwaizumi is blind, the fic progresses as they grow up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5878225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noyanishi/pseuds/noyanishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Iwaizumi feels red is at the age of 12 when Oikawa walks out of his room with a sniffle and a slammed door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeling the Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

> (guess who's writing oneshots while they still have to rewrite and update a fic they already have?? while also starting another chaptered fic?? it me!!)
> 
> Iwaizumi is blind and that's all you really need to know.

The first time Iwaizumi _feels_ red is at the age of 12 when Oikawa walks out of his room with a sniffle and a slammed door. Iwaizumi’s hands search for the nearest object and he throws it at the place his best friend had been before he walked out. His tears feel red when they burn streaks down his face and the ringing in his ears sounds red and the soft material of his bedsheets feels red when he falls on them again. Everything feels _red_ and it is all Oikawa’s fault.

When Iwaizumi’s mom brings up the image of a crying Oikawa walking out of their house, he feels red but he also feels blue.  He admits with a frown into his soggy cereal that he and Oikawa were no longer friends. Oikawa had told him so the night before, he couldn’t be friends with the freak. Iwaizumi feels red, but he also feels blue. He feels blue when the pang in his chest reminds him of Oikawa’s laughter and the smile he could simply hear. The tears that refuse to fall from his eyes no longer feel red, but blue, laced with insecurities and broken friendships.

When Iwaizumi sits in his desk at school the next day he feels green. Although he can’t see them, he feels the stares burning into his back as he sits alone, while his hand traces the bumps of his book. Oikawa is laughing on the other side of the room and Iwaizumi feels the green rising up and blossoming deep into his chest. Every word Oikawa speaks to others is laced with a jab of green that slices deep in Iwaizumi’s heart. He wishes with a hint of blue that it was him that Oikawa was talking to. He feels green when realizes that he will have to spend recess inside with the teacher instead of outside feeling yellow.

When Oikawa comes up to him the next day with the sniffles and something cold, Iwaizumi feels yellow. When Oikawa apologizes through the tears, Iwaizumi can’t feel the red or the blue, he can only feel the yellow as he gets his only real friend back. He feels yellow when he goes to hug Oikawa, and continues feeling yellow even when he realizes that they are now both wearing the ice cream cone Oikawa was holding. The rest of the afternoon feels yellow as they sit on the soft grass and pass a ball around with laughter and big smiles.

 

The next time Iwaizumi feels red is when he’s 16 and he hears the soft whispers skirting around him behind his back. He swear he _sees_ red when he confirms the rumours with his girlfriend that yes, she had cheated on him. When she calls him a loser and a freak, he feels red flash behind the usual black of his empty eyes. He feels red in his hands and his fists and he unleashes that red onto a wall behind him. When Oikawa finds him sitting in the hallway with a bloody hand and tear stained cheeks, the red fades to blue and he finds that the pain in his knuckles is suddenly overwhelming.

He feels blue for a while after that day. The blaring sound of his alarm clock feels blue and his blankets feel blue as he brings them up over his ears to block out the world. His mother’s pitiful whispers sound blue as she convinces him to go to school. He doesn’t go to school because that is where he feels the most blue, whispers and giggles following him until he gets home. The only time it doesn’t feel blue is when Oikawa comes over. When Oikawa brings shitty movies and describes them horribly to Iwaizumi with popcorn stuffed cheeks, he feels a dull blue and even a tad bit yellow.

 

There are days when Iwaizumi doesn’t feel colours at all. Those are the most ordinary days; ones with simple talk and small laughs. Those are the days when Oikawa walks with Iwaizumi in the park, describing the scenery and always pointing out people who make the both of them laugh. Those are the days where the two of them dip their feet into the cold pond water and smile at nothing. Those are the days where they sit at home and stare at the ceiling while Oikawa tells him conspiracies about aliens and Iwaizumi listens with a small smile and a hint of disbelief. Those are the days where it’s simply easy to exist.

There are rare days too, rare days where Iwaizumi feels black. Those are the days where even Oikawa can’t help the constant pain that resides in Iwaizumi’s chest no matter how many light hearted attempts at humour he makes. Those are the days where Iwaizumi locks himself in the bathroom and sits in the shower with all of his clothes on. Those are the days where the scalding water burns into his skin with streaks that leave him feeling black; leave him feeling nothing. Those are the days where no matter how hard Iwaizumi tries, _and oh god does he try_ , he can’t see anything except black. Those are the days his limbs feel heavy and he finds it hard to exist at all. Those are the days that he sometimes, between the constant feelings of grief for something he never had, Iwaizumi wishes he was never born. When the black eventually fades and Iwaizumi is back to his normal self, he realizes that he’s a bit stupid for him to believe that a matter of wishing can reverse something that’s been with him since birth. That doesn’t stop him from trying.

 

When Iwaizumi is 17, he starts noticing that he has the feeling of a constant yellow whenever he’s with Oikawa. The small laughs Oikawa lets loose are yellow, the ugly snorts that he lets nobody else hear sound yellow, even the barely noticeable sound of his breathing over the noise of the television is yellow. These times, when Iwaizumi asks to feel Oikawa’s face and Oikawa agrees, which he always does, the second his fingertips feel smooth skin it’s a flash and burn of yellow that goes straight to his heart. The only time Iwaizumi feels anything other than yellow when he’s with Oikawa is when he hears giggling girls and flirtatious words. He doesn’t feel yellow when he can _hear_ the blush on the girls’ faces, or when Oikawa’s voice takes a more confident tone. Those are the times Iwaizumi doesn’t feel yellow, he only feels green.

 

When Oikawa sits on Iwaizumi’s bed like he has since they were kids, Iwaizumi can automatically tell that something is different. He feels it in the way Oikawa is keeping his distance, even if he is acting the same. Oikawa is one for intimacy, and he is being anything but. When Iwaizumi brings it up, Oikawa shows a little too much force in his laugh. He speaks quietly when he mentions he has a date, and Iwaizumi can tell that the smugness attached to those word is simply an act.

When Iwaizumi makes sense of what he’s heard, he feels like a joyless Christmas. He feels green and red and he cannot begin to explain to himself why. Or at least, that’s what he decides to tell himself. Oikawa leaves soon after, and Iwaizumi appreciates it. The air had become too thick anyways.

 

When Oikawa comes back the next evening, the green in Iwaizumi’s chest surfaces again and he can’t stop himself from asking how the date went. He feels the green fade as Oikawa speaks with indifference and yellow begins to blossom when he mentions she’s not for him. When Oikawa asks why Iwaizumi is smiling, he has to feel his own face. He hadn’t noticed.

 

Iwaizumi is a little less 17 and a little more almost-18 when he sits down with Oikawa on the swinging bench in the backyard. The cool air of the night is nipping at his skin and he feel his nose get a little cold, and apparently Oikawa is feeling a little bit the same because he is suddenly sticking his face in the nook between Iwaizumi’s neck and shoulder. When Oikawa first asks, Iwaizumi doesn’t register the words, he only feels Oikawa’s face flush were it sits against his neck. When Oikawa asks again, Iwaizumi is a little too stunned to do anything other than nod.

When Oikawa places a hand on the side of his head and a gentle kiss to his lips, Iwaizumi feels the rainbow.


End file.
